Life Happens
How are you going to play it?
Traveling alone, I breezed through check-in and security. The flight between Milwaukee and Houston was scheduled to depart on time. As I boarded, I made eye contact with the flight attendant, smiled, and peeked into the cockpit. I don’t know why, but I like to see the people who’ve learned to defy gravity. About two thirds of the distance into the belly of of the aircraft, I found my seat and settled — seat belt buckled, bag stowed under the seat in front of me, and a brand new copy of You are a Badass, How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero in my hands.
This might sound lame to some, but this was kind of a big deal for me. I’m not afraid to fly or experience new things. That was not the problem.
I don’t mind being alone. Solitude and I are good friends.
The anticipation of a long weekend with my nieces was icing on the cake.
My challenge was letting go.
Control freak, martyr, sacrificing person — call it what you will, but letting go of things I feel responsible for is a big deal for me. When my son was three and I took a trip to Washington DC with my sister and father, I got myself so worked up mentally that a host of physical symptoms joined the melee. I just couldn’t fathom how my family would get along without me.
They did — and the fallout from my mind-induced, physical symptoms led me to yoga (a blessing) believe it or not, but that’s a story for another day.
You can only connect the dots looking backward.
Anyhow, fifteen years later, sitting comfortably next to a young man wearing earphones and tapping away on his laptop, I felt pretty comfortable leaving town for a few days. The kid is driving. The family can find their own food and the dog is old and less demanding. It’ll be fine….
Sincero’s book is engaging and powerful. She makes it clear that our reality is what we choose to see and believe. The law of attraction becomes touchable through her words and experience. She swears, doesn’t mince words and shares her experience of waking up from the Big Snooze or BS for short. BS is your ego — the person you think you are, layered in limiting beliefs. (Ahem — like, your family will fall to pieces if you leave them alone for a weekend.)
Living a fear based life is operating from BS.
I finished more than half of You are a Badass before landing in Houston and one piece lived large in my mind. Writing about BS Sincero had this to say:
Same goes for when we rid ourselves of limiting subconscious beliefs that have been holding us back and take a giant leap outside of our comfort zone. It’s a detox of such staggering proportions that sometimes it can feel as if The Universe is conspiring against us — trees fall on our cars, our computers crash, we find our significant others in bed with our best friends, we get our identities stolen, we get the flu, our roofs cave in, we sit in gum — when in reality, The Big Snooze is creating chaos in an attempt to self-sabotage and keep everything as is, instead of moving forward into unknown, yet desperately wanted, new territory.
I’ve become a big believer in synchronicity — the right things keep appearing when I need to hear them.
I deplaned, found my way down to the baggage carousel, and texted my niece — We landed on time. I’m standing outside exit B7, Terminal 2. Is that good for you?
The reply came — That’s fine. Leaving home now. We’re having some plumbing issues and they want to tear up the backyard.
No worries. I’ll just take a seat. Take your time.
It was a beautiful, warm Houston day. I slipped out of my vest and plaid flannel revealing, bare arms to the sun and humidity. I was traveling alone and did not carry the weight of anybody else’s impatience, anger or frustration. Watching fellow travelers hug relatives, hop into vehicles and board the bus to the rental car station, I was at peace. My zen training was operating at peak performance.
After picking me up, my niece and I enjoyed a lovely afternoon. I met her six month old twins for the first time, we dined alfresco on fresh salads with chicken and pear, and I watched her babies splash and smile in a baby float class. So far,so good!
And then….
the opportunity to reflect on my cross country read reared its ugly head.
We exchanged greetings, how are yous, how was your flight and then my husband hit me with it…. “The dog re-injured her leg today. It’s pretty bad — she won’t put any weight on it. I’ll take off of work tomorrow and get her into the vet.”
Mara is the daughter I never had. My mind wanted to run in all kinds of negative directions. Fault and blame. Will the boys be caring enough with her? I know she’s already depressed that I left — and now she’s injured? I should be there. This would have never happened!
BS
Thanks to Sincero’s book, I had other options. You are allowed to leave home for a few days. You are not in control of everything. Choose to enjoy this trip. What will be, will be.
I did go on to enjoy the weekend with minimal fretting, only calling home once per day.
When I opened the door to get in the Tahoe, Mara lifted her head to greet me. She was a pathetic sight. I sat in back with her, rubbed her ears and whispered sweet nothings. It took a long month for her to recover to the point she’d been at before I boarded the plane to Houston — but recover — she did.
BS didn’t win.
Limiting beliefs are abundant in each of us — layers of fear based thinking that we can’t, shouldn’t, or are incapable. Two thoughts help me get past the Big Snooze:
One: If you don’t do it, try it, experience it now — then when? Today is the day kid — even if you only take a baby step.
And
Two: The only real control you have is your reaction.
Life happens.
So get out there and live it!
